Tinder trauma – the difficulties of connecting on dating apps

These days, everything is online. From shopping to communication, it’s all online. One thing that’s also moved online is dating. Although I wouldn’t call apps like Tinder and Bumble “dating” apps. I’d call them … meeting apps. 

I joined Bumble and Tinder on my 18th birthday. I was hanging with one of my friends and we were figuring out what exactly we could do for fun. Since my birthday is in August, we deemed it too hot to do anything besides hang around my friend’s house. So we decided to sign up for dating apps.

My initial experience seemed to be good. Guys were sweet and respectful, although most of my initial conversations didn’t amount to much. There were a few guys however that I did hit it off with.
Although these few guys and I initially hit it off, things like one having a girlfriend and another who completely ghosted me after almost two months of talking quickly soured the vibes.

But while those are the most extreme of the things I’ve encountered, I’ve also encountered a lot of one-off conversations that have been … disgusting to say the least. 

Comments about what guys want to do to me and comments about my body have been made more times than I can count. Comments such as “I want to plow you” and “I’m looking for a freaky kinky girl for a master/ slave relationship” are among things that have been said to me. There comments made talk about the size of my breasts and how someone’s c–k would look in my mouth. The sad thing is, you don’t know how these people really are until you talk to them. 

After a while, it gets disheartening. You start to question your worth and whether or not dating is really for you. 

But that’s the thing about these dating apps nowadays. These dating apps have turned their focus from dating to that of one-off hookups and meetups. 

While a large pool of the guys I’ve come across have been rather gross, there’s also the handful of guys who do tend to be sweet and nice. I’ve gotten compliments on how pretty I am as a whole, as well as a lot of compliments on my eyes (basic, but it works). Sometimes the comments made are generic but they still get the point across.

Their compliments may still be focused on my appearance but they’re done in a respectful manner. 

Then you have the guys who come up with funny lines that immediately break the ice and make someone laugh. Pick-up lines like “Is your name lightening, cause I want to make you maqueen” have been some of the highlights.

Dating apps aren’t inherently bad. But in my experience, they aren’t for dating. 

Maybe I’m trying to force something and I should let things work out in a natural way, but as someone who suffers from social anxiety and doesn’t find it easy to meet people in any sort of environment, dating apps seemed to be a good idea for me. 

But now that I’m six months into this adventure, I’m honestly not so sure. What I am sure of, however, is that for some people these apps are perfect while for others, they can be a bit of a nightmare.

Jolie Shultz is a Hutchinson freshman studying journalism. She is the Collegian’s Online Editor.

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