Abstaining from the dating scene

I’ve gotten some crap from family members about not dating anyone lately.

I get that it’s normal for people my age to be in the dating scene. however, I don’t have much interest in dating right now. Most of the time I say it’s because I am too busy balancing my time between school and work, but another reason is because it is just flat out hard to date in today’s generation. 

Come at me all you want but social media makes dating 10 times harder. Now, I have social media and I’m not going to tell people to get rid of it, but it definitely puts challenges to young relationships. Meeting new people can be tricky because it’s all words on a screen that get taken so seriously. Social media is how people want to be seen. It’s not always “what you see is what you get” when it comes to meeting new people online. Then, when the conversation actually starts, on Snapchat of course, it’s dry or downright uncomfortable.

Hint for the guys out there – stop being creepy. No, we don’t want to “slide” and no we don’t want to “chill”. We want a genuine dating experience. Maybe dinner with no expectations afterwards? I’ll even offer to split the bill. And don’t even get me started on the complications that social media can have on people already in a relationship. That is a whole problem within itself.

Dating nowadays seems to be more difficult due to boundaries being seen as a personal attack. No, I just have expectations and if you don’t want to respect me then it’s not worth going any further. I’m not telling you my boundaries just for you to push them and seeing how far you can get. Nor will I listen to the “pity me” talk trying to get me to feel guilty for having said boundaries. 

It also seems that nowadays there is no defined line on what is what, the timing of what is OK and when is not communicated.

For example, I personally don’t want to kiss someone on a first date. Others may disagree and that’s fine but that’s something you should probably be clear on before going on the first date. Something else that needs to be clear is “are you looking for something serious?” Because no, I am NOT looking for a situationship. I want to see if we are compatible for an actual relationship, not just hanging out whenever you’re feeling affectionate. Again, that all goes back to communication. I want transparency on what we are and how you feel. For some reason, speaking on feelings is taboo. 

So maybe I will start dating again when I find someone who isn’t afraid to tell me how they feel, what they want, and what they expect from me. If it doesn’t work out, then we can tell each other that with no hard feelings and go on about our lives. 

To those who agree with what I’ve said, single and strong we stand … subject to change when the right someone comes along.

Carly Thompson is a Hutchinson sophomore studying psychology. She is the Collegian’s Editor in Chief.

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