Just
Ask
Hannah

By Hannah Wallace

Dear Hannah what are your thoughts on the trees and flowers that are blooming around campus?

Dear student, I think the flowers and trees that are blooming around campus are beautiful and look very nice.

However, the trees that have the white flowers on them, like the one in between Lockman Hall and the Parker Student Union seem to smell like dead fish, in my opinion.

Don’t get me wrong, the tree is very pretty but it smells horrible, just like a few people here on campus. They look nice, but in reality their personalities and morals are horrible.

What may look pretty to the eye can be toxic to the heart, just like Twinkies or cocaine.

Dear Hannah, What are your plans for Spring Break?

Dear interested, my Spring Break, more than likely, will be spent studying and reading because I really don’t have a life.

Most people are going on vacation or to the beach and I’m just counting down the days until I can curl up on the sofa with a paper- back book, a cup of hot tea and a blanket.

I may only be in my 20’s but my interests and hobbies make it seem like I’m a 90-year-old woman waiting to receive my next Social Security check, so I can buy more cats, moth balls, prune juice, yarn and all the other things that old women like to buy.

Dear Hannah, How do I get a girl to like me back?

Dear probably forever single, if the girl does not like you, leave her alone.

You need to accept the fact that she does not take interest in you and you need to move on.

The faster you can accept this fact, the faster you can also accept that you will probably never date her.

Or, if you cannot accept any of that, then keep being a creeper, because odds are, you will probably get caught and charged with stalking or something like that.

If you haven’t changed her mind yet, odds are you probably never will.

There is nothing wrong with being single.

Just think, because of people like you, frozen TV dinners for one will always be big sellers.

As a result, you are creating factory jobs, perhaps for people just like you.

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