Just Ask


By Hannah Wallace

Are you in a relationship?

Dear about to be shocked,

As a matter of fact I am. I am with my high school sweetheart of six years.

We have been dating for a little over a year now and I have to say it’s been the best year of my life.

We have decided to put our education first so it makes seeing each other a little difficult sometimes.

Our relationship is about to be tested hard core as I am moving to Hawaii in just a few short months.

We have decided to put it in God’s hands but if it all works out we plan to stay together.

Dear Hannah,

What is your favorite sport?

Dear fan,

I would have to say that my favorite sport is rodeo. I grew up participating in rodeo and loved every minute of it.

I have a lot of respect for rodeo because it is one of the only sports that opens with not only a prayer but a tribute to our U.S. troops.

My dad was a professional at bareback and bulls for a while; he actually made it to the NFR (National Finals Rodeo) back in the 80’s.

My dad is now 50 years old and decided to hang up his spurs last summer.

Yes, he rode his last bull at the age of 50.

I’m starting to think I get my bad-assery from my dad.

Dear Hannah,

I want to lose my virginity. What should I do?

Dear despite,

Let’s remember one important thing: Once you lose your virginity, you can never get it back.

I am still a virgin myself and the one thing that keeps me from losing it is this thought: When I hear people talk about his or her sex life I can’t help but think to myself, “Wow, if somebody like you, looking like you do, can lose their virginity, then I must be OK in life.”

The only difference between me and those people is I won’t have to lose my virginity to the first person that offers, because let’s face it, I’m better than everyone else.

Also remember, there is no cure for AIDS, so please be careful.

Dear Hannah,

Do you have friends?

Dear creeper,

Surprisingly enough I do. Only a select few are bold enough to withstand my cockiness and high ego.

I like to think that I humble myself to hang out with the peasants on a daily basis, and only a few are good enough to grovel in my presence.

I do have a best friend, whose name is Claire. She is about as good as they come, so therefore I claim her as my one and only best friend.

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