By Shelby Horton

Dear Shelby,

How do I tell my neighbor that I can hear them having sex loudly?

Dear Unfortunate Audience,

There are two ways you could deal with this. First, approach your neighbor and discuss your displeasure over being forced to hear their intimate moments.

You may discover that it was unintentional and later come to an agreement so neither party has to go through the embarrassment of this situation again.

If you’re willing to approach them, come to them in a non-threatening way and just tell them in a calm and relaxed way.

However, this second option only can be used if this person refuses to try to be reasonable and proves to be inconsiderate of others.

Also if you have some guts to pull this off, and they continue to have loud sex, you could leave post-it notes on their door, daily congratulating them on their time.

You don’t actually have to keep the count of the times, but this will drive your point home and make them stop. Or since you can hear them, they can probably hear you if you’re loud enough.

You can yell rustic sayings, such as “Git er done!” or other witty phrases, in a deep voice.

It could make the situation less awkward for you, and more for them.

Whatever you choose, I wish you luck.

Dear Shelby,

Is oral sex a big deal in relationships?

Dear Interested,

I believe that committing any sexual act between two consenting partners, is a big deal because you’re trusting that person, and sharing an intimate moment with them.

However also consider the risk with oral sex. HIV can be transmitted through oral sex, and performing oral sex on a HIV-infected person is considered the riskiest sexual activity a person can do.

Factors that could increase the risk of HIV transmission through oral sex are bleeding gums, genital sores and the presence of any other sexual disease.

Learn more about the risk at

If you ever decide to do this, use a condom or dental dam to protect yourself from HIV or any other sexually transmitted diseases.

Dear Shelby,

I just started a new relationship and I want to have sex, but when is the best time to start having sex in a relationship?

Dear Early Starter,

When you’re in a new relationship and want to start having sex make sure you discuss it with your partner.

You should have your partner’s consent before doing anything, that’s an important part of any relationship.

The best time to start having sex is when you both feel ready for it, whether it will be a month into the relationship or a year.

When you’re both consenting to the act, then it’s okay to have sex. Discuss this with your partner, then decide what will be the best for both of you.

Dear Shelby,

I just had a bad breakup and want to get back into the game. How do I get some rebound sex?

Dear Rebounder,

I don’t recommend coming out of a relationship and trying to quickly get rebound sex.

Despite wanting to appear like you’re OK and that the breakup hasn’t created a bump in your life, resist the impulse.

But it’s OK to be upset, to not be all right, and to cry or be angry.

Working through your feelings is healthier than replacing your previous relationship with a series of rebound hook-ups.

Take some time to yourself, curl up in bed, watch Netflix, and cry if you need to.

Don’t jump right back into sex.

It might be more damaging than healing, in the long run.

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