If life gives you lemons, there are sweet ways to deal with it

By Hannah Wallace

Dear Hannah, What do you think about the instructors here at HCC not having to be CPR certified?

Dear Worried,

I think that it would be in the best of interests if all our instructors were knowledge in CPR but at the same time I feel as if we have enough Fire Science and Paramedic students roaming around campus that we should have all of our bases covered. Being a student at the community college with the No. 1 ranked fire and paramedic programs seems to give me peace of mind.

Dear Hannah, What is the secret to life?

Dear Lost,

There are many secrets to life, but I will only give you a few. First, the saying, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade,” is a complete hoax. I’ve learned that when life gives you lemons, you are so much better off making margaritas.

This will help you relax faster then a glass of lemonade will. Or sometimes when life gives you even the most sh–ty situations, that is when the most glorious solutions occur, because nothing in life comes easy unless you’re rich or your name is Donald Trump. But most importantly, remember this: “If you’re not first, you’re last.” Second place only means you’re the first loser and there is no prize for that.

Dear Hannah, Why is pumpkin spice a thing?

Dear sickened of fall, I think pumpkin spice is a norm around this time of the year because it helps the typical white girl cope with the weather changes. If you look into a mirror and say “pumpkin spice” three times, a white girl wearing yoga pants, Uggs, and holding a Starbucks cup will appear.

Dear Hannah, White or wheat bread?

Dear Wonderer, I have to be completely honest, I prefer rye. Rye does not contain the bleaches and other chemicals that white bread contains and also it tastes a lot better than wheat. I view rye as the underdog when it comes to bread, so most of the time I choose rye, just out of sheer pity.

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