The Green Flags,Red Flags, And Why We Are Still Overthinking Everything

By Reyna Sanchez
Staff writer
Email: thehutchinsoncollegian@gmail.com

Dating is fun … until it isn’t. Dating is fun until you get hurt or things just don’t go the way you want them to.

One minute you’re happy, laughing and thinking this is going perfect Then the next minute you are looking at your phone, you are reading messages over and over again. You are waiting to hear from them, wondering if you said something wrong to them.

That’s where the green flags and the red flags come in. Green flags are important, and so are the red flags.

What are some green flags and red flags that you should look out for in a partner when you’re with your partner?

Green Flags (Things That Are Actually a Good Sign)

Constant communication

No disappearing acts. No guessing games. The person you’re talking to doesn’t have to text you all the time. But they should still communicate in some way.  With today’s social media, there are plenty of platforms and ways to communicate. You should always know where you stand with this person. 

Boundaries

People should respect the boundaries that you have set for yourself. If they actually care about you, then they will care about your boundaries. They will not try to cross them. The boundaries that you have set should be important to them. They will make sure to respect your boundaries at all times. The person you’re with should make you feel safe and respected at all times.

Emotionally available

People who are good at handling emotions can talk about their feelings without getting upset or angry. They shouldn’t get upset when you want to talk about how you feel. They know that feelings are a thing and that people should be able to talk about them without feeling like they are being attacked.

Actually interested about you

They ask questions, remember little things, and actually listen instead of just waiting for their turn to talk. They remember details about your life, your goals, and what matters to you, not just the basic facts.

Words that match their actions

People who like you don’t just tell you that they like you, they show it.

They are reliable and honest.

People who like you don’t just talk about being nice to you; they actually are nice to you, through the things they do. Over time, the things people who really like you do aren’t just words. Their actions show that they mean what they say.

Red Flags (Things to Pay Attention To)

Hot and cold behaviors

This person is really into you one day. Then they are not the next. If someone is making you feel confused all the time, that is probably the truth about them. The truth about them is that they’re not really interested in you. This kind of behavior from them creates fear in you. It keeps you feeling upset and unsure about what is going on.

Disrespectful comments disguised as jokes

If they make comments that target your appearance, intelligence, or boundaries, and then they say, “I’m just kidding,” That’s an automatic NO. If it bothers you and they keep doing it, it’s not a joke. Remember, you are worth more than you think.

Avoiding accountability

These people never say sorry. They always think something is somebody’s problem. When they talk or do something wrong, they make it sound like it is your fault. They always do this with every issue someone else brings up.

Moving too fast

When someone makes promises or gets really attached to you right away, it can feel nice… But often this can be a warning sign. A healthy relationship doesn’t need to be in a hurry.

The bottom line is, just because you see a green flag, it does not mean this person is the perfect one for you. Dating isn’t about finding someone who’s perfect. It is about finding someone who wants to learn and grow with you. Pay attention to how you feel when you’re with this person. The biggest green flag is a person who brings out the best in you, not the worst.

Reyna Sanchez from Sterling freshman studying journalism. Contact her on instagram @reyna_alejandra_13

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