Listen to listen, not to respond

Are you listening?

Do you ever feel like the words you speak don’t have the impact they should when speaking to another? Stuck in an argument with someone that doesn’t seem to be comprehending the point you have been trying to make. It is because they are listening to respond and not listening to learn. This is a relatively new found phenomenon that many people do not even realize they are doing until it is pointed out, which is rather hard to do when all they care about is getting their point across.

Stephen Covey is an American educator and author who has spent many years teaching about habits people should get themselves accustomed to. His most famous teachings can be summarized down to building healthy relationships with both yourself and others. Part of building those bonds is taking time to listen to those around you. We tend to get into a habit during conversations of forming our next sentences instead of taking in what the other person is talking about. This habit can lead to the opening of miscommunication, it isn’t a fun trope in books so it’s not a fun trope in real life as well. Relationships, whether they are with someone you love or even someone you tolerate can crumble during lines of conversation.

Open your ears and keep your mouth shut. Miscommunication stems from someone expressing their thoughts or emotions while the other person is caught up in their own drama to see the issues being laid out in front of them. A way around not understanding whoever it is you are talking to is to keep your mouth shut and try to understand where the other person is truly coming from. People can become so wrapped up in the drama that lives rent free, happily dancing across the lobes in their brain that they only care how the situation makes them feel. There is no empathy for how you are affecting another unless you are willing to listen and change.

Change your intent and you will change your understanding. Do not go into a conversation with the intent to respond, go instead with the intent to listen.

Jolene Bell is a Hutchinson freshman studying English. You can contact her at thehutchinsoncollegian@gmail.com.

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