Dear Shelby,
I love my partner but sometimes he messes up. How do I correct him without making him feel like he’s stupid?
Dear Delicate correction,
No one ever wants to feel dumb or stupid when he or she makes a mistake and has to be corrected or taught differently.
So when you have to attempt to correct your partner, you want to be as calm and understanding of the situation.
This is all about communication and delivery, you don’t want to approach your partner with a condescending voice while treating him like a three year-old who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
Ask him to explain his side and to be an active listener to what you found an issue with.
Treat each other with respect, but also show compassion and understanding.
Dear Shelby,
Being a guy can you tell me what the difference is between a clitoris and a “g-spot”? Also, how do they both affect the experience of sex?
Dear Confused,
The clitoris is on the outside of the vagina, while the g-spot is on the inside located to the side of the urethra and urinary bladder.
Both are considered parts of the female anatomy where women gain pleasure from during intercourse.
However, the clitoris is a well-known part of the female anatomy, and is the most used in dealing with sexual pleasure.
The g-spot’s existence is still debated (mainly by men), but is believed to be the most erogenous zone in the female anatomy.
Dear Shelby,
I’ve been in a relationship for a while now, and we’ve gotten used to each other, how do I keep my relationship fresh and exciting?
Dear Adventure lover,
After the “honeymoon phase” of a relationship has ended we reach the comfortable stage.
This is not a bad thing; it doesn’t mean your relationship is boring or no longer loving and sexual.
It just means you’re comfortable without makeup on around them, you can burp and not get embarrassed, and do nothing together.
It’s a great step in a relationship and one of the most underrated. However, if you’re looking to keep your relationship fresh a few simple things can go a long way.
Go on planned dates like amusement parks or movies; this can keep up the romance factor and give you fun things to do together.
Still dress up for each other, you are still attracted to each other, putting a little effort in your appearance for each other can give you fresh eyes for each other.
Try new things together, its adventurous and even if it doesn’t end well you’ll have a funny story to tell your friends later.
Dear Shelby,
What makes for the best sexual partner?
Dear inquisitive,
A great listener, patience, and a sense of humor. In a sexual sense, we are taught to regard attractiveness and sizes as deciding factor of someone’s sexual prowess, however that is only a small portion of the larger picture.
You need someone who is willing to listen to your needs and wants, then apply them when appropriate.
Be patient because it takes time to get comfortable and sometimes you’re just not ready to have a sexual experience with your partner right away.
Lastly, you need a partner with a sense of humor, because there will always be that one night where you try something new and it doesn’t go well.
You’ll need someone to laugh with you, and not at you during those kinds of situations.