Admitting fault can solve petty fights

Just
between
us
By Shelby Horton

Dear Shelby,
Is taking pictures of my boyfriend and me important during intimate parts of our relationship? I’ve seen some really intimate photos on Facebook, but now people are taking pictures of themselves during sex.

Dear Photographed,
Having your relationship documented on social media can be like trying to pour gasoline onto a fire.
Granted, many people are encouraged to share their happy moments with loved ones, such as maybe having a lovely day at an amusement park together.

I don’t think anyone really wants to see their Facebook feed filled with kissing couples, butt-grabbing partners, and just moments that may seem really cute to them but painfully awkward to an observer.
Also, if one night you get adventurous and decide to document your sexual escapades, never post nor show those pictures to anyone.
Don’t misunderstand me, sex between two loving partners is a beautiful thing, but it is a private beautiful thing.
Intimacy is meant to be shared between the two people, not the world. Take my word for it.

Dear Shelby,
My girlfriend and I have just started dating and we are starting to get serious. Lately we’ve started having a lot of petty fights. Neither of us wants to give in because we’re too embarrassed to be proven wrong. How do we get past this?

Dear No-more-Mr.-Right,
Everyone hates being wrong; it’s even harder to just swallow your pride and admit that you’re wrong.
This is really important with relationships since being able to admit you’re wrong in arguments can help strengthen your relationship.
In order to mature in your relationship, you have to be able to recognize when you’re wrong and admit defeat.
When you want to continue an argument just because you’re embarrassed to admit you’re wrong, think about what is more important: having a healthy relationship or pretending to be right.

Dear Shelby,
I’ve been fantasizing about the same-sex recently, even though I’ve identified as heterosexual. Is this normal or should I be questioning my sexual orientation?

Dear Questioning,
Understand that fantasies provide a variety of purposes from exploring our sexuality and what we may be comfortable doing in a sexual atmosphere.
Though fantasies can be an aspect of your sexual orientation, it isn’t the defining one.
Sex researchers view sexual orientation as a spectrum with homosexuality on one side, and heterosexuality on the other.
They are discovering a lot of people fall in the middle, and this can shift at any point in a person’s life span.
It’s okay to be curious, and it’s good to be in touch with your sexuality.
In the end, it’s your choice on how you want to explore your sexuality and in what way you want to live your life.

Dear Shelby,
Is it possible to actually be friends with benefits without any emotional strings attached?

Dear Benefits,
It’s difficult to determine the outcome of these types of situations.
“Booty calls” and one night stands have become a regular occurrence; however, there is a difference between these and friends with benefits.
Booty calls and one night stands are usually a one time deal, while friends with benefits is a consistent amount of time spent with each other in and outside of the bedroom.
With that type of set-up, it is much more likely to develop feelings that go beyond the initial agreement. I highly advise against this type of relationship.

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